What Are You Doing in Front of Your Children? by Jan Tincher

Kids mimic their parents, even if they don't understand what is going on. What are you doing in front of your children?

Do you get angry? What do you do when you are angry? Do you let that anger show, regardless of the consequences?

And what are the consequences? This, perhaps? You have company. The children are playing. Your child gets angry and hurts another child. What has happened here? Friends are very important to children.

Will those children be allowed to play together once the parents of the other kids see that happening "once too many" times? What has happened here? Friends are very important to children.

Do you cheat? Do you cheat, regardless of the consequences?

And what are the consequences? This, perhaps? You have company. The children are playing. Your child cheats at a game and all the kids get upset.

Will those children be allowed to play together once the parents of the other kids see that happening "once too many" times? What has happened here? Friends are very important to children.

And, since friends are very important to children, shouldn't they be very important to you?

What are we telling -- doing in front of -- our kids? We need to tell and show them what is acceptable. Some say, "But they are going to learn it somewhere, sometime." Do you let them swear? Punch someone in the nose? Urinate over the bushes downtown? "They may not have learned it downtown, but that's where they'll probably try it out."

They learn MORE from people they love and respect. They learn FASTER from people they love and respect. They MODEL people they love and respect.

The next time you say or do something in front of your children, or any children for that matter, look at what you are doing and make sure it is something you want or can accept being repeated -- right in front of your eyes.


NOTE:
All is not lost if you do see something you don't like repeated right in front of your eyes. Let your mind go back over your actions and see if YOU were the one who taught them to do that. If so, the next time you are doing it in front of them say something like, "Oh! I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I won't do that again, OK?" We all make mistakes. Apologizing is VERY acceptable behavior. Show it to children all the time.

Children live what they've learned. What are you teaching them?
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Copyright 2001, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide
from selfgrowth.com

Good Manners are a Reflection of Who You Are

Good manners are more than just common courtesy. It's one of the ways people decide what kind of person you are. Good manners are not only a sign of upbringing, respect, and consideration for others. People with good manners are perceived as more intelligent and more caring. Look people straight in the eye when you meet them, smile, offer to help them. Extend a strong, firm hand shake. To do anything less assures that you will not only be perceived as rude and crass, but also weak and frightened.

Avoid using foul language particularly when speaking with adults or when young children are around. If you are still holding tight to the thought that you have a right to "be yourself" and to do anything less makes you a hypocrite, you are stuck in the mindset of the 1960's and it's time your moved forward.

We are not talking about not putting your elbows on the table here, we're talking about treating people decently ... just as you want to be treated. On this particular issue, there is one edict you should remember unless you want to stay in the position you are currently in for the rest of your life. If you want to move into the current century, remember this:

"Being Yourself is Not the Solution. It's the Problem. Learn to Change."